Mountain of problems

It hasn't been a week since the new semester started, but there are already mountain of problems arises.

For two consecutive days I have been crying because of my problems. It is not something that can be put in the world's book of records but it can; in my life's record. This is because I have never cry this much just because I have a problem. This is also something new to me as I never have any problem as big and many problems before.

When the problem started, I tried so hard to solve it. But, when I thought that I managed to solve it, the problem becomes bigger and more complicated; thus, resulting to more problem arises. I am not that weak to cry just because of these problems, but if someone has to go through this kind of problem where you are always thinking about this problem, can't sleep because of uneasy feelings; I'm sure a strong-willed person will also crying and goes crazy because of this.

Then, more and more chained problems arises, My heart really can't take it. So, I cried. Crying is still not enough to calm my heart, but at least; even just for a moment, my heart is in ease. Even for a short while, my heart is fine and the tears stop falling like waterfall from my eyes.

There are a lot of things that I have to consider before making the decision to end this problem. There are many hearts that I have to care so they will no be hurt with my decision. The decision either I have to get hurt so that my heart is at ease OR I follow my heart's will, but my relationship with my friends will turn bad and my heart will not be at ease.

So, I chose to bear the burden alone where it is fine for me to not be happy as long as I don't abandon my friends. When I chose the second option, my heart is not at ease at all although the decision will make me happy and also I can decrease the burden of my parents. This is because this option makes my relationship with my friends shakes, like a ship hits by waves at the sea. So, in order to put my heart at ease, I change my mind and choose the second option where I and my family have to carry the burden.

To my father and mother,

Although both of you will never read this post (because hey don't know about my blog), I am really sorry for troubling you to find money so that  this daughter of yours can study comfortably... I am really sorry...

That's all for now... Have a good day...




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